Finding Friendship
True friendship can be tough to find. Add in a busy adult life and that goal seems impossible. The daily grind often keeps me busy and my brain full of lists to complete. So, where can you find friends? How do you cross the bridge together in to true friendship in a busy season?
A close friend of mine told me that every time she went to her local park she handed out her number and said, “Will you be my friend?”. I laughed at that notion and wondered if that’s really what I had to do to gain community?! I’m naturally shy and I got a lump in my throat just thinking about having to do the same thing. I wanted and needed friends for the season of new motherhood! I just didn’t know how to get my tired, overwhelmed, and shy self in to a new friendship.
That friend, by the way, she is an awesome woman and I am so lucky that I have her as a friend. I’m grateful that she reached out to me and welcomed me in to her circle. She was a new mom too, but that didn’t seem to stop her at all! She taught me a lot about diving in to community and making sure to SHOW UP when people are in need. She always opened up her home for play dates and lunch. We brought groceries to each other several times when either of us got stuck at home with our sick babies. I credit her for helping me take the next step and joining a Moms group at my church!
One Sunday, I saw a listing in my church bulletin for a Moms group and I jumped in with both feet! I was nervous, but excited because I was really in need of friends close to home. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, there isn’t another adult present to lean on during the day. When I was in the newborn season, I don’t think I even knew what day it was for several months! Friday? Wednesday? No clue. That first year my constant companion was a baby. Speaking from experience here…that whole scenario will make you a little nuts. Babies are ridiculously friggin’ cute, but they don’t really fill the friendship void! Hence, why Moms group was SO NEEDED. I’ll never regret taking the leap to join Moms. It has been a wonderful place to meet friends in the same season of life as me!
This I know is true…no matter how a friendship evolves, friendship itself is important. Some friendships will fade and friendship that last are a gift, BUT I will never downplay the importance of friends for a particular season of life. I think that would be such a sad thing, to lose out on those “friend for a season” relationships. You both need each other, lean on each other, learn from each other and survive the season together. All types of friendship have value.
Friendships that last through the seasons are rare, special, and should be held dear. An example of close friends through the seasons – I have a friend from my childhood, a friend I met in college, and a friend I met when we were both new to motherhood. Currently, we do not see each other more than once or twice a year. No matter our physical distant from each other, I trust these women with ALL my struggles, trials, and praises. I lean on them for advice on parenting, marriage, and personal growth. There are a lot of phone calls, text messages, emails, and marco polo videos between us! And even if it’s been a while, because life has a funny way of staying busy, we always pick up where we left off.
Every friend has a unique experience, a new take on the world, and life lessons to share. Friendship is very needed as we were not meant to live this life alone! I hope that you have some close friends to lean on, but if you don’t, it is time to take the risk and put yourself out there! You have something great to bring to the friendship…YOURSELF.
-Erin aka Coffeemamabear
