Freedom can be found in Home-Schooling

I was nervous to start our first day of home school. I had butterflies in my stomach. I was tense. Could I teach kids at different learning levels at the same time? How would that not be distracting? Could I cover a variety of subjects all by myself? A good amount of freedom can be found in home-schooling and yet, I still put myself in a box. A box of other people’s unmentioned standards. The pressure from these imaginary home-school rule makers left me feeling ill-equipped. Then it hit me one afternoon, the only person putting unrealistic pressure on our home-school journey was me. No one was yelling at me to get it all perfect. It was my own thoughts that were skewing the view.

Reading time during home-school - Canva Image — *Reading time during home-school – Canva Image*

Honestly, my kids were so ready to absorb this time together. We were in need of connection after a crazy summer. In those first weeks of schooling we had some bumps in learning style, but I allowed us to pivot to a better method. We were using our new found home-school freedom! I started to see them thrive and we all found a groove in our Monday through Friday schedule. They have different motivators and I began making sure to use what I was learning from them. I had to make room for their voices in this process too.

My kids are blossoming now. I keep reminding myself that this is a special year for us all. That the freedom and time we have to dive into subjects might not always be available to us. We go head strong into the topics that they love and we work through the ones that challenge them. When my oldest sighs and gets discouraged at having to erase a wrong answer I usually reply, “They have an eraser at the end of every pencil for a reason, we all make mistakes. No one is perfect”.

We’ve had conversations about grace and how important it is to give grace to ourselves too. We have talked about failure and how it’s usually through our mistakes that we tend to learn the most. I have touted my amazing skills with erasers…and it’s only because I’ve had a lot of practice with them. Our breaks in the school day include jumping jacks, outside time, a snack, silly songs, learning games on the tablet, and free play. We have time for them to build forts, set up their own grocery store, play with play-doh, enjoy kinetic sand, and explore water coloring. We use a lot of these toys on this list during our play times!

I know that I’m not going to regret this one-on-one time with my kids. Other bumps in our home-school journey will come our way, I’m sure of it. The days are not perfect, but we get to do them together. And if I told you that doubts didn’t still come my way, I’d be lying. They do, but I know what I’ve been called to do and I will not back down from this task.

I try to remind myself that they won’t always be little. They won’t always want to jump in my lap every time I sit down to catch my breath before we tackle the next part of our day. This time is precious, tough, a challenge, a blessing, and a wild ride. To all who are in the home-school journey as well, I pray that God would continue to fill your cup. That you would find encouragement when you need it and that His unending grace and love would cover your family this season.

Sincerely,
Erin aka Coffee Mama Bear

Cup of Encouragement – Grief and Coffee

Last Thanksgiving, I was not thankful. I did not want to look people in the eye, accept hugs, smile, or make small conversational chit chat. It took every ounce of self control to sit, make myself numb, and stare at the parade on TV. I wanted to scream. I needed to cry. I didn’t have a desire to eat anything. Turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy were not going to make this better.

The day before Thanksgiving, I found myself staring a bright red blood. This was not supposed to happen, again. My plan for Thanksgiving day was to do my best to hide the secret that I was pregnant while hanging out with our family. I had already visited with a midwife and started planning what life was going to be like with a third baby. All my dreams broke that morning. My husband ran into the bathroom and hugged me, while I sobbed on the toilet.

I had my first miscarriage in 2015 and shortly after became pregnant again with Charlotte. Charlotte was born in the middle of some crazy times, but we praised the Lord for our rainbow baby. During the grief process, I felt a desire to name our baby that we lost. I chose the name Jesse. Jesse means “gift” and it was truly a gift to be able to hold Jesse in my womb, even if it was for a short time. My husband was the one to name our baby this time, our loss last Thanksgiving. Casey is the name he chose and it means “brave”. Casey would have been born this July.

Casey was a surprise baby, so we knew that Casey had an impression to make on our life, the details unknown to us at the time. Casey pushed me to be brave. This tiny, beautiful person, that I held in my womb for a short time. Just like I knew that my daughter, Charlotte, was going to be an opinionated brown haired girl…I knew that Casey was feisty. In the midst of this surprise we spoke to the Lord, “We will care for this child you have given us because we know that you have a purpose for this life.” God is the giver of life and He places great value on it, even in the womb.

Psalm 139:13-14 – ” For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Job 33:4 – ” The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”

Grief had me in a place where I felt really lost. My brain and my heart were really overwhelmed. I eventually resigned from my wedding album design job and I rested for a couple months. It wasn’t easy for me to rest. I also didn’t have any direction, that’s what bothered me the most. I was very depleted creatively. I needed something that was mine, a project, and a happy outlet for myself. I signed up for Instagram in late April 2019. I still remember staring at the blinking cursor, trying to come up with my Instagram handle. I typed in “Coffeemamabear”. The two most important parts of my everyday.

I have had to wrap myself around the knowledge that I will never be the same. Grief always make a mark. When the girls were smaller I would count, “1…2…” while keeping track of them during shopping trips and even then I felt like I was still missing someone. There should have been another curly haired babe or two to include in the count.

Life is a gift, it is precious, and people fight by all sorts of means to keep it. I know that I really had no control over Jesse or Casey’s future. God knows the reason we lost them and I will never know it while on this earth. I have to rest in knowing that God’s plan is best. I have to place my trust in God. My family will just always feel a little incomplete, while we are here on this earth. I do hold on to this…it will be a sweet reunion for us all when we get to heaven.

Based on my experience with grief, I have figured this part out…grief is not some hill to quickly climb and conquer. Grief is the process of learning how to live with a hole in your heart. Someone can be happy and still be wrestling with grief. You can enjoy food, a sunset, time with friends, music, and still be wading through grief. Sometimes grief will hit at an inopportune time or show itself through anger, anxiety, depression, etc. I’ll end with this…The number one thing you can do at any stage of grief is to be gentle with yourself. Be kind in your self talk and do the best you can to be with people who are kind to you too.

Feel free to email me: erin@coffeemamabear.com
You can also find me on Instagram: @coffeemamabear
And Facebook: Coffee Mama Bear

Cup of Encouragement – Coffee Klatch Board

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I’ve seen some really cute charcuterie boards on Pinterest and I hope to make one someday, but I tend to consume COFFEE way more than wine. That’s when the idea for a food pairing board, specifically aimed at coffee drinkers, came to mind. I gathered the ingredients from my local grocer and brought it all to my parent’s house to assemble. My mother actually came up with the name for the board, “Coffee Klatch”. The word “Klatch” has its origins in Germany. We do have some German heritage in our family. My mother also lived in Germany for a time…in a castle! Dreamy, right?! I love that story, I’ll have to tell it to you later, but there actually is a German word specifically for a meeting or conversation that happens over coffee, “Kaffeeklatsch”.

The way I chose my food items for the board came from my knowledge of a coffee flavor wheel. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at different ones and I now have one taped up by my coffee making station in the kitchen. This is the one I have printed and on my wall. Here is another one that is interactive and printable. These coffee flavor wheels will be your guide to creating a Coffee Klatch Board that your friends and family will enjoy!

In order to not go overboard in price, I chose to stick with a few fruits and some food items I could get from the bulk bins. For example, an entire bag of coconut shreds would have been more expensive than the small scoop that I needed for the board. I bought the nuts from the bulk bins too. It was much cheaper for me that way and then I didn’t end up with extra. I picked out the cheapest fruit options that looked the best and that I knew would pair well with my coffee selections. For the chocolate covered pretzels and peanut brittle, I got the store brand. This board did not include any pastries, but I’m hoping to do a larger Coffee Klatch Board soon to showcase what that could look like if you wanted some heartier offerings.

I have completed some coffee cuppings at home with various coffees from the grocery store, craft roasters, or local (to me) Texas roasters. Your best bet, if you want to choose a coffee outside what you normally purchase is to find a store that sells bulk coffee. You can get a few tablespoons of whole beans, of as many kinds as you want, so you can try a coffee cupping at home. Now, many coffee roasters label their beans with specific notes that they find during their own cupping process. These are helpful for directing you on whether you are getting a coffee with fruit, chocolate, earthy, or other notes. Read, discern, and think about what flavors you normally gravitate towards.

Some coffee shops sell their own roast or they choose a local roaster. Your local coffee shop should be able to help you choose a roast or two if you don’t have time to do a tasting at home. When I visit a coffee shop, I usually aim for their drip coffee of the day. I make it a point to ask them what they have on drip, so that I have an idea of what flavors might be present in the coffee. And if you aren’t sure when they say, “We have a roast from Peru today”, ask them about the notes you’ll find in that particular cup. Your barista is there to help you! Be sure to follow me on Instagram or Facebook to see what coffee shops I am recommending in the DFW (Texas) area. Even if you aren’t in Texas…stop on by my page for some coffee images to brighten your day!

The last and really most important thing to do is INVITE some friends or family over for coffee! Who knows what wonderful conversations will be had and how friendship connections will grow, when you get a group together to just enjoy some coffee. That’s really what this whole “Coffee Mama Bear” thing is about…friendship, encouragement, and coffee. We can ALWAYS use more of those things in our lives!

If you are a craftsman, artisan, maker of cute things, and you live in the DFW area, I would love to chat.
I also accept coffee donations…are you a coffee roaster?!
We can totally be friends. Like, right now.

Feel free to reach me at erin@coffeemamabear.com

Cup of Encouragement – Vacationing with Kids is All Joy, The Best Lie

Cup of Encouragement – Underdog & Apple Pie

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Gluten Free Apple Pie – Recipe Links Below

This apple pie originated from a failed photo shoot. I was nervous to even attempt the photo shoot idea, but to have failure right out of the gate?! It was a kick in the gut. This next week I’ll be diving in to learn how to create some of the effects needed to make my photo series DREAM come true! I still have the desire to see the series completed, even though I am back at square one. I don’t have all the skills (yet) and I’ve already failed, but I’m not going to give up on the goal. I want to be the underdog in this story!

Have you ever been knocked down, verbally attacked, been made to feel unworthy, or felt abandoned? Your heart feels heavy and your soul feels weak after that defeat. Maybe this has happened to you in a relationship or a business situation? I keep envisioning being in the bottom of a well and looking up, somewhat hopeless, with no understanding on how to get out. You don’t feel like you have much fight left physically, mentally, emotionally, and in your soul too. There is an overarching grief about the situation as well.

I can tell you, firsthand, that all you’re feeling and experiencing is normal. When you thought a particular path was going to be your route and you get smacked towards another direction…it’s not a very comfortable experience. When you relied on an individual(s) and they don’t show up when you needed them the most, it is heartbreaking. You do need someone to be there for you, never leave you, and who always has your best interests at heart. A strong person in you life, who will cheer you on as you aim at your goals. It might not feel like it right now, but you CAN be the one who upsets the win at the podium and the one who claims the victory. You can become the underdog.

This delicious apple pie has softened the blow just a little bit. It’s a pie born through struggle, but delicious nevertheless.
Namaste Gluten Free Flour Pie Crust Recipe
Homemade Apple Pie Filling Recipe
And I feel like apple pie for breakfast is totally acceptable. Especially, when you are trying to heal the wounds of disappointment. The Namaste GF flour made for an excellent crust. It was thick enough to hold all the juices from the apples and it was not dry or too crumbly after baking. The apple filling can be made ahead of time and stored in 32 oz. wide mouth mason jars. Coffee from Addison Coffee Roasters made an appearance too. I chose the Mexican Vanilla blend with its sweet flavors and it paired very well with the apple pie.

I’m pretty sure that the next people I mention did not have APPLE PIE as a part of their victory story. Moses, from the book of Exodus, he became the underdog in the fight against Pharoh. A huge load of drama encompasses that story and Moses was very scared of what God was asking him to do. Moses had made some big mistakes in his past. God wanted Moses to convince the most powerful man in the land, Pharoh, to let his entire work force (the Israelites) go. That was no small task, but with God’s mighty hand at work, Moses was able to free thousands of people from the hand of Pharoh. Underdog status acheived.

The next underdog from the Bible is David. Not only did this shepherd boy defeat one of the most formidable foes in the old testament, Goliath, David was on the run from king Saul for many years. For David, being on the run was exhausting, physically and emotionally. God brought Saul to David in a chance meeting and that’s when David won. I encourage you to read that passage in 1 Samuel 24. David…underdog status achieved, in a very unique way.

I feel like the best part about being the underdog is that no one will see you coming. You have the extra element of surprise on your side. You also have a strength behind you that no one else can take away. You’ve been to the bottom. You have had to dig deep to climb. You ARE going to rise up to meet the challenge and you WILL succeed. More importantly, you have had God on your side through the entirety of your challenge. Your success might not look like anything you had envisioned before you got knocked down, but that’s probably a good thing. You’ve gained knowledge and now you have grit.

What I say next is just as much for me as it is for you:
Let’s take all this failure, the pain, the disappointment, and missed steps and use it for good. Battle scars, no matter how they come, can be your strength. God can use any past hurt, mistake, and failure, for His good. I have read way too many stories of people born from hardship that have partnered with God to do amazing things. We will have to dig deep to start that ball rolling toward our goals, but once we get it going…it is not going to stop. Especially, when we have God on our side and in our hearts.

Warmest wishes and coffee dreams,
Erin aka Coffee Mama Bear

Coffee Mama bear

Life, Joy, & Coffee

Category: Cup of Encouragement

Freedom can be found in Home-Schooling

Cup of Encouragement – Grief and Coffee

Cup of Encouragement – Coffee Klatch Board

Cup of Encouragement – Vacationing with Kids is All Joy, The Best Lie

Cup of Encouragement – Underdog & Apple Pie